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When I imagined motherhood, I knew it would be exhausting at times. But I didn’t fully understand the weight. The kind that builds silently between the car rides, the grocery lists, the chaos, the constant planning, and the never-ending noise.
And some days, even with a supportive partner, I feel like I’m unraveling.
The Mental Load Is Real
My husband and I parent together. We’re a team in every sense as active, present, and loving. But even with help, the invisible load of motherhood falls heavy on me.
- The scheduling
- The meal planning
- The appointments
- The permission slips, birthday RSVPs, and constant “what’s for dinner?”
As a mom with ADHD, ODD, and anxiety/depression, everything feels… more. The overstimulation builds quickly. The pressure to do it all “right” never shuts off. And the guilt lingers like a shadow even on the good days.
Wanting to Go, But Dreading the Chaos
Sometimes, I fantasize about getting out of the house for a little escape. A coffee alone, a peaceful walk, just some silence.
But reality usually looks like:
- Arguing over snacks in the car
- Complaints about being bored two minutes into the trip
- “I don’t want to eat this” at every restaurant
- Siblings bickering the entire way
So I stay. And then I get overwhelmed again.
It’s this wild contradiction: wanting to be near my children, and wanting so badly to be away from all the noise. Loving them deeply, and also needing space to breathe.
Am I the Only One?
Sometimes I wonder: do other moms feel this way? Or am I just too sensitive? Too reactive? Too… much?
Because I look around and see other moms handling it all smiling through the school pick-ups, thriving in the chaos. Meanwhile, I’m clinging to routines just to keep myself from mentally spiraling.
I know we’re not supposed to compare. But when your brain is wired like mine, comparison shows up uninvited whispering that maybe you’re the only one barely holding it together.
What I Know Now
Needing a break doesn’t mean I’m failing.
It means I’m human.
Motherhood doesn’t come with timeouts or PTO. But that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve rest, especially when your mental health is already stretched thin.
You can love your children and still want quiet.
You can be grateful and still feel burnt out.
You can be strong and still need support.
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FAQ: When You Love Being a Mom…But Still Need a Break
Is it normal for moms to feel overwhelmed even when they love their kids?
Yes. Loving your kids doesn’t mean you won’t feel overstimulated or burnt out. It’s normal to need rest and space while still being a devoted parent.
Why do moms feel guilty for needing a break?
Many moms feel pressured by unrealistic standards to be endlessly patient and selfless. This can create guilt when they long for quiet or alone time.
How can moms take small breaks to recharge?
Moms can recharge by carving out moments of quiet, even a cup of coffee alone, a short walk, or asking for help. Small breaks can make a big difference.